Hello to the Queen of Swords
I know that this post is a little late, but I didn’t want the Summer Solstice blog post and the Incoming influences card post to overlap too much, so I held the Incoming Influences card reading over until this week.
I feel weird. And sad.
At the end of this week, my son will leave the innocent delights of Primary School behind him and set his face towards his secondary school education in August. I should feel happy – we’re halfway through his formal education and we’re doing fine. Right?
But I laid out his uniform for him this morning and waves of sadness washed over me as I hung up the little white shirt and tie. ‘This is the last Monday that I’ll do this for him,’ I thought.
I know. I am totally working Queen of Cups reversed.
He has mixed feelings about moving on too. On one hand he is excited about the new challenge. On the other, he is wary of being one of the Wee Ones again in a new school. ‘We’re starting at the beginning again,’ he told me glumly as he straightened his tie.
Yes, we are. But it’s a whole new ball game.
He’s growing his hair.
His feet are nearly the same size as mine.
He’s got the full eye-rolling, sotto voce cursing, audible sighing thing down to an art form. And he’s not even 12 yet.
Honestly? I miss the little boy that he was very much. His small, hot hand readily snaking into mine to cross the road….. the guileless hugs and kisses.
These days I’m too uncool to be seen with, so he walks a few steps ahead and I am only hugged and kissed when he wants to play with my ipad or seeking my agreement that he can play the Playstation for a while with his friends.
The truth is that I feel increasingly redundant in his life. I used to be his sun and now I’m just some cold little moon whizzing round Pluto, right on the edge of his universe.
I wish that there was some way of helping parents cope with these strange feelings – the sense of loss, of time passing too quickly….. that we cannot keep him safe for ever.
But it is also tempered with pride – he is turning into a lovely young man, he has a kind heart, he has friends, he should do ok academically…… unless he is beset by his hormones and side-tracked by girls and tempted by all manner of other stuff that he should Bloody Well Stay Away From.
Was I surprised then, that the incoming card for this period was the Rider Waite Smith’s Queen of Swords?
Not at all.
I am going to depend upon her no nonsense energies to ensure that my sad thoughts are kicked into line and that I am less emotional about all this stuff. She sets her face towards the future, her sword bolt upright and ready to cut out any overly-maudlin nonsense. Her hand is raised to welcome the next phase.
She tells me that while it’s ok for me to honour my feelings, it’s also good for me to recognise that they are not FACT and that I can change them. And indeed I MUST change them to make sure that Sonshine’s last week at school is memorable for all the right reasons.
Wish her luck. She’s going to need it!
Jonathan MacLean-Lambie · 29th June 2012 at 8:45 pm
A joy as always
alisoncross · 1st July 2012 at 3:42 pm
Thank you Jonathan 😀
Vivianne · 25th June 2012 at 5:26 pm
Hey chick, you're more like the Earth: he takes you for granted, but if you suddenly weren't there, he'd sure as s*** know all about it 😀
alisoncross · 29th June 2012 at 7:23 pm
lol! Maybe, Viv, maybe….. I know that he's got to do his own thing, but I still like to hold his hand and look at him when he doesn't think he's being looked at. He's just lovely. But I'm biased 😀
Joanne · 25th June 2012 at 5:01 pm
Hang in there, Ali! My son is 26 and on his own working in photography in Brooklyn, New York. They do tend to turn out OK, and they do enjoy your company again after about 17 or so! Sorry it takes so long, but there it is. My children don't roll their eyes over stuff I say nearly as much as they used to. 😉 And send that Queen of Swords over here so I can focus and get some work done….
alisoncross · 29th June 2012 at 7:22 pm
Oh you must miss him!!!!
*wafting the Queen of Swords over the pond to Joanne*
Bonkers · 25th June 2012 at 11:58 am
queen of swords sounds like appropriate incoming energies indeed.
best of luck to your son at his new school!
alisoncross · 29th June 2012 at 7:21 pm
Thanks Bonkers! Embracing my Queen of Swords whole-heartedly and it seems to be doing the trick 😀
Mojo · 25th June 2012 at 11:54 am
Hey Ali, I remember it well…..but my boy is now nearly 15 and they do return to secret hugs and very interesting discussions about their friends – strangely these are held in the car whilst I am drving and can't look at him!!! My thoughts are with you Ali, don't forget Queen of Cups though, combination very good with this one.
alisoncross · 29th June 2012 at 7:20 pm
lol! Chats in the car are a good idea. I model myself on Lois from Malcolm in the Middle. Am I the only person in the world that worships at the feet of Lois?!
Car chats must act a bit like confessional box 😀
Priestess Tarot · 25th June 2012 at 11:11 am
Aww, the wee lad's getting all big! Good luck to him AND to you, Alison! No need for the Queen of Swords over here, thanks 😉 I'm glad to let her out for a wee holiday, being honest 😀
alisoncross · 29th June 2012 at 7:19 pm
Thanks! I am needing her to help cope with my rampant Queen of Cups Rx that seems to have emerged from nowhere! A few days further on and I feel better about the whole thing 😀
Inner Whispers · 25th June 2012 at 10:59 am
I definitely wish her luck, and could you send her over here once you're finished? Went to Big Boy's annual review today and heard that as of September he'll have a new teacher, and new pretty much everything else, too. It somehow managed to be news to me – it's mainly cos his teacher has been promoted. Ah well, all change and embrace the future!
alisoncross · 29th June 2012 at 7:18 pm
It can be a bit disconcerting when you are used to the way things have been. New routines, new timetables, I'm rubbish at all that. Hoping Sonshine is better at adapting to change than myself!
Hoping your wee fella will thrive with the proposed changes!!!!